- Pippa Georgeson This thread is why the left fails to engage with a lot of groups properly. So much infighting and prancing about like peacocks, you make people feel detatched from the class struggle.
- Steve Hedley So what do you suggest Pippa pretend to agree on everything ?,the only way to get to the truth is to openly and honestly debate differences.
- Pippa Georgeson There's a fucking huge difference between pretending to agree and being sectarian arseholes at every possible opportunity. What people seem to forget is that comrades outside of the swp and awl have to sit through meeting after meeting watching both groups argue and tear apart campaigns.
- Steve Hedley Im in neither of those groups and and this is not a campaign its a facebook forum where they have the right to disagree if it offends you go on another thread.
- Pippa Georgeson So you have te right to agree or disagree but if I want to discuss the issue I get told to go on another thread?
You have the right to discuss the tactics/practices employed by the left but I don't?
Don't be such a condescending fuck. - Steve Hedley Stop swearing it makes you look bad you might find that when you leave Uni that in the real world people do disagree ,this is a contentious thread where arguments will happen if you cant handle it you shouldn't take part.
- Pippa Georgeson Steve, I'll swear as much or as little as I please and you may find when you remove your head from your arsehole that it will a long, long time before I take directions from you. But thanks for the suggestion.
I've not said that I can't 'handle' arguments, what I'm presenting is an outside view of what the infighting the status is about looks like and the effects of it.
It's probably not healthy for you to assume that because I'm currently attending uni I have no experience of the real world. Unhealthy, untrue and a bit fucking offensive. - Steve Hedley Some middle class student with a great knowledge of the working class amazing,im glad to see the British education system is producing in you such an extensive selection of swear words,seriously your doing yourself no favors.
- Pippa Georgeson Middle class? Yeah, again your powers of deduction aren't working too well. The ONLY reason I got to uni was the fact that social services pays my fees. I'm a proud working class woman, care leaver and when I finish my degree I will still be both those things.
My god, the irony of sitting in my council flat with 19p on the electricity meter being called midde class by some jumped up brocalist on the internet is fucking hilarious.
You do yourself no favours by being a cunt, Steve, but I'm not telling you to stop, have some curtesy. - Glyn Harries Steve Hedley i did not know you were married to a Kurdish woman, but tbh that is irrelevent to my accusation, that you see as some Zionist ploy!
to repeat; why when the situation in Kurdistan is objectively far worse for Kurds than for Palestinians in Palestine, on almost every indicator, number of villages bulldozed, number of refugees, repression of culture, number of prisoners, number of people killed, US and NATO support etc etc etc, WHY is there NO British Left support for Kurdish issues and there is for Palestine? - Pippa Georgeson Actually there is some british left support for Kurdish. We helped them campaign for education in their own language a few years ago.
- Steve Hedley Yeah heard it all before you'll be a manager in a couple of years sacking workers.why don't you go and rant at someone else your obviously very disturbed pippa.Glyn same advice to you mate your arguments are nonsensical in not responsible for the british left but personally support the Kurds .your parroting the Zionist argument consciously or not that other country's ate worse than Israel so why condemn israeli atrocities .
- Pippa Georgeson I'll be sacking workers? With my english degree from edge hill? Lol. You've clearly got deep seated issues surrounding working class mobility that are more relevant to yourself than me, I suggest you address them in your own time and don't project you silly fuckwit.
- Pippa Georgeson What is my life for if not letting comrades exclude working class people from the class struggle with sectarian bullshit, in silence, whilst making them sanwiches?
- Steve Hedley I would suggest you go and get rid of some of that bile I would suggest you find a partner of some description but then I looked at your profile I can see why you have issues now be nice and go make your little middle class buddie a sandwich before the meter runs out
- Joe Talbot Fox Kelly Firstly I'm more than capable of making my own sandwhiches without subjugating Pippa. Secondly your a fucking cunt.
- Pippa Georgeson Wow, Steve is way progressive, woman doesn't state on facebook they have a partner 'of some kind' therefore they 'have issues' and their experience as working class is negated?
You're a bit of a misogynistic little gobshite aren't you? With "comrades" like these, eh? - Glyn Harries Steve Hedley i am well aware you are not responsible for the British Left. But I am asking you a question and and you are evading that question. So why does the British Left ignore Kurdistan when it is the same distance from the UK as Gaza, when it is objectively worse? When there are 100,000 Kurdish refugees in London, and virtually no Palestinian refugees. Something ain't right.
And why do you think I do not condemn Israeli atrocities? Why a wierd thing to say! Of course I condemn the IDF atrocities. But why do you and the British Left continue to see uniqueness in those atrocities and their perpetrator, the Israeli state?
p.s. I do not support a 2 State solution. That is as flawed imho as the Hamas/PLO/SWP position that puts ALL the blame on the Israeli citizens. The only solution that is not racial/ethnic is a mixed country or confederalism - Steve Hedley I don't know us the answer Glyn perhaps the PAC are more effective campaigners than the pkk ,or alternatively what's your explanation are they all secret antisemitrs?
- Steve Hedley Don't worry Pippa I'm sure there's someone out there for you who likes the bulldog who swamped a wasp look and the personality of a pitbull good luck,oh misogynist couldn't really tell that you were a woman from tour picture
- Pippa Georgeson Wow, bdy eliteism, transphobia, misogyny, antisemitic, class negator your intersection and depth comrade, they know no bounds.
- Glyn Harries I'm suprised you don't know Steve! Married to a Kurdish woman you must have been pretty frustrated that the Left showed so little interest in Kurdish issues? And it's funny no one on the Left knows either about Kurdish struggle in Turkey let alone why they do not support it! It's some kinda wierd myopia. You are right the Kurdish movement in the UK is not brilliant at publicity though but you would have thought after what they have suffered, after seeing so many refugees in London, with so many stories of repression that they might have got involved? Tbh I wouldn't have much to say on the issue if I was not in north London.
So what do i think? On the good side the fact that many people of Jewish background are socialists and they are ashamed/hate what israel are doing and have got stuck in and fair play to em.
On the bad side, a crass interpretation of the already flawed philosophy of Lenins anti-imperialism, disgusting oppoprtunism from the likes of George Galloway making out this is about a war on Islam to wind up Bangaldeshis and Pakistanis in the UK, idiotic accusations that PKK/BDP/KCK is a Mossad front, the typical narrow mindedness of so much of the Brtish Left who won't do anything they are not told to do, and a type of racialism (not anti-semitism) that believes that Jews can not behave like everyone else; Jews appear to be the only people in the world who the Left deny nationalism to ( what would Lenin have said about that?) - Glyn Harries p.s. end of conversation anyway .. can't be trying to debate with you while you are abusing two people above the way you are .. way out of order Steve .. disappointing
- Steve Hedley Good glyn your a Zionist apologist and a pretty bad one at that ,your arguments are not logical and your retirement from the debate is long overdue.
- Pippa Georgeson Always seem to be the victim? I think that's the same line Borris Johnson used about Liverpool after Hillsborough.
Since you're so concerned with policing people's education, class and looks, maybe you'd fit right in with that kind of middle class, male privilege culture. Who knows? Give it a few months and you may find *you're* the one sacking workers, you bellend. - Beccy Emily Rainbow-Badger Pippa, I just want to state in no uncertain terms that I'm really appalled by the things Steve is saying to you, and I hope you don't think others on this thread think it's ok!
- Glyn Harries since when does opposing Zionism (and condemning Israeli agression/militarism/colonialism) BUT opposing all nationalism, make someone a Zionist apologist! lol Steve you've totally lost it on here .. i've had a lot of respect for your trade union work but your attitude on here sucks mate ..
- Steve Hedley Retirement didnt last long Glyn and your apologist statements and diversionary tactics for Zionism suck.
- Steve Hedley So Pippa you come on the thread add nothing to the debate then personaly abuse me swear at me and then try to make yourself out the victim I suppose the Zionists and their apologists will rush to your defense ,try and get some councelling your issues are only too apparent.
- Pippa Georgeson Steve, you really should consider taking your face for a shit. 'Personally abuse and swear at me' swearing at someone isn't being a misogynistic prick. It isn't discriminatory. But if you'd like examples of things misogynist pricks say...^ tadaaar!
- Dan Jeffery Totally out of order comments on here Steve. Whether Pippa has been swearing or not, to starting laying in to what women look like and taking pot shots at mental health issues is bang out of order.
- Steve Hedley As i predicted Dan all the Zionists employing diversion tactics I never mentioned mental health issues now back to learning the AWL/Zionist mantra mate anything but allowing debate on the right of Palestinian refugees to return home aye
- Pippa Georgeson Steve, I genuinely feel that you may have a problem if you can't understand how offensive and condescending you've been.
You can disagree with someone's stance (and I do) and not be a shit about it. - Dan Jeffery I don't think you could have read any of my posts on here given I've said I totally disagree with the AWL, think that Isarael is an apartheid and zionist state and support the right of return and a one state solution. Also our union branch has probably done as much as any other union branch in the country on this. We raised nearly £3000 for Palestine Medical Aid, have twinned with a trade union branch in the West Bank after our International Officer went out there, do a fornightly stall in Brixton to support the Boycott, Disinvestment and Santions campaign and have just passed a resolution saying our branch is in support of a one state solution.
That doesn't mean I'm gonna agree with making insulting comments about what women look like and keep making references to why someone has issues after looking at their facebook profile, and bizarre comments about whether someone has a partner or not. - Steve Hedley Dan read back and see how it started and by the way someone who cant refrain from swearing including calling me a "cunt"may well have issues I suppose you be so tolerant if I referred to people in this way.Is this a case of patronizing reverse sexism on your part?
- Pippa Georgeson It started with you deciding I was somehow too delicate for the post, 'couldn't handle it' and that I'm not allowed to swear.
- Dan Jeffery I don't think it is a good idea to go round swearing your head off and wouldn't have said anything if you'd just been generally aggro back. But personally I think it takes it to another level when blokes start insulting what women look like and make references to mental health issues. If that makes me a reverse sexist then so be it.
- Steve Hedley No I didn't mention delicacy ,you just interpreted it that way,I was merely making the point that if you didnt want to be party to the left debate on Palestine there was no point you staying on the thread I would have said the same to anyone who made the same complaint.Swearing on here is not good form from anyone it has nothing to do with your gender.
- Pippa Georgeson On the 'cunt' issue, should Dan also lecture black people who use the n word? Or Jewish people who call themselves 'yids'?
- Pippa Georgeson It has less to do with Palestine, it was more to do with the incident in the status e.g. Sectarian bullshit that the SWP and AWL engage in constantly that isolates people. Because of this you decide I'm middle class and go creeping around on my profile and my swearing is a huge problem?
- Pippa Georgeson What about lgbt people that call themself queer?
Nah? We'll just go busting in there with the ol' white male privilege and tell them how to reclaim or not reclaim the language of their oppression. - Steve Hedley I didnt go creeping around on your profile I took a guess because of your arrogant attitude and profile picture that you were a middle class student.Working class people dont usually swear on these forums middleclass people pretending to be workers often do.You seem to be digging around desperatley to defend your appalling language and personal abuse ,you didnt call yourself a "cunt "you called me one this use of sexist derogatory language is unacceptable.
- Pippa Georgeson Ha! You said yourself you went looking round on my profile. Whether or not I use the word cunt as a derogatory term is down to me, I have one. And genuinely don't hold sexist value, unfortunately same cannot be said for you. So clearly you being very w...See More
- Steve Hedley Profile picture its on here now ,glad to hear you've found someone to put up with you give them my commiserations .
- Beccy Emily Rainbow-Badger This is the second time I've seen this happen on Facebook lately. An older man gets sworn at when he's being quite patronising and offensive, and seems to think he retains the moral high ground if he starts really offensively, misogynistically and agistly attacking the young woman who has had the gall not to treat him with the respect he 'deserves'. It really is quite worrying.
The point about the swp and awl needing to think through how the kind of exchange Sacha originally quoted is received by students coming out on a demo, maybe for the first time, is a really valid one, and also whether this kind of point-scoring actually helps anyone; it's not a reason to just be told to leave the thread. - Sacha Ismail I've been away most of this week and only just seen this. It's unbelievable and Steve should be ashamed of himself. Will say more tomorrow.
- Max Shanly Even if I disagreed with your views, I would still let you have your voice heard and I would expect the same. It's an inherent part of the political process, without debate and discussion we can never move forward.
I'll admit, I don't always agree with some of the things that the AWL come out with, and I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but I wouldn't hate you because of it, I mean, you're not Tories. - Stef Newton So, what have we learned tonight? 1) Believing that a Jewish state should exist = Zionism 2) The AWL believe no 1. 3) The AWL therefore are Zionists (?) 4) This is another cheap dig at the SWP 5) Steve is a cunt.
- Sacha Ismail It's only a cheap dig if you think that anyone can do anything and it should never be mentioned as it constitutes a dig - which sounds to me very much like political bullies trying to use "Don't be sectarian" to defend themselves. Which I will say more about later. First, though I'd like to deal Steve's outrageous behaviour. Will do so when I'm back online tonight.
- David Toube According to Socialist Unity, the problem with the SWP is that they're 'liberals'.
http://www.socialistunity.com/the-swps-descent-into-liberalism
- Rhiannon Red Pippa Georgeson make me a liberalism sandwich. Dont you know we instantly become middle class the second we are assigned a u.c.a.s. number? silly!
- David Sabbagh This should/could have been an interesting debate on Israel and Palestine. 198 comments later and it has literally descended into something that makes me ashamed to call myself a Marxist! The whole Trotsky line of 'shouting with absolutism' comes to mi...See More
- Pippa Georgeson God, sorry Rhiannon, I forgot. I thought it was the second we got our less-than-job-seekers loan through?
- Matilda Murday Steve Hedley... you waving your gender and age privilege round like a flaccid cock whilst accusing Pippa of class privilege is laughable. What a sad little man you are. The worst aspect, aside from how unpleasant you have been to Pippa, is that it is not now possible to have a conversation about the issue. Thanks 'mate'.
- David Toube This is the Steve Hedley who attacks Jewish guys and mocks them as "the Chosen People" like some medieval Jew baiting priest?
- Steve Hedley Ismail your in a group of racists the awl supported lately by zionists and I'll informed useful fools like Toube.Apologists for imperialism your group are either a state front or doing the states job unconsciously you are anything but left wing.
- Sacha Ismail Steve: "a group of racists"? Racists of what sort? Racist against who?
If you can't see why throwing about personal abuse, moreover abuse saturated with misogyny, is problematic, then you're more of a bully, unreconstructed sexist and cynical Stalinist than I thought. I'd say the same sort of thing about your wild claims about your opponents on the left being racists, state agents etc
I agree that this - meaning since Steve started slinging abuse - is the kind of discussion that puts people off the left. So I'm going to leave it for a while and consider whether to restart the actual political discussion.
I'm happy to consider whether - however bad the SWP's behaviour in shouting "Zionist" at people - that putting up this kind of status is basically not very constructive. I'm sceptical about that, because I think people should be held to account for their behaviour, but I'm willing to consider it. I also want to strongly protest against the idea that "the SWP and the AWL" are symmetically responsible for sectarianism on the student left. I've yet to be provided with a single example - certainly a single serious example - of the AWL behaving in a sectarian way. - Kate Liz Socialist Action/SBL are more guilty of dragging back the student movement to fulfil their Stalinist agenda than anyone else is of sectarianism. SWP students shouldn't have any truck with them but instead choose to form an uncomfortable alliance with them in order to try to dislodge the AWL.
Monday, 15 April 2013
Conversation with Hedley
Saturday, 13 April 2013
My experience of Steve Hedley and a message to the British Left.
*Disclaimer/TW*
Triggering issues including mental illness, domestic violence, victim blaming and body elitism are discussed in the following post.
As most trade union/left activists in the country know, there has recently been an incident regarding domestic abuse. On International Women's Day 2013 Caroline Leneghan (RMT- Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers union) made public an account of how her ex-partner Steve Hedley (Assistant General Secretary of RMT) abused her physically and mentally during their relationship. Leneghan's blog can be found here and contains pictures of her injuries that some readers might find upsetting. In her blog she detailed how when she took her complaint to RMT & she detailed several ways in which RMT tried to disregard her allegation
A few weeks before this Leneghan published her account of the abuse she suffered at the hands of Hedley, I got into an online argument with him. Firstly during the argument he stated that I 'couldn't handle the topic' attempting to convince me and others that my point was non other than a product of me being to delicate for the discussion.
His tone with anyone who contributed to that discussion was vile, but to me in particular. He told me that 'in the real world' people argued and alleged that I was a 'middle class student' who would soon be 'sacking the workers' (presumably with my English degree from Edge Hill). When I affirmed that I was indeed working class, a council tenant, a care leaver and had extensive experience in the 'real world' he then shifted his attack to my looks.
Hedley's attempt to silence me by telling me I was middle class, then telling me I was ugly then telling me I needed to 'find myself a partner of some kind' made me feel like my part in the debate was completely dictated by my gender and by my age. A well paid middle aged man in the high ranks of the RMT being misogynistic, ableist, and attempting to intimidate a young woman isn't as serious his violence to Leneghan, and I wouldn't want anyone to think that for a second. What is similar, however was the way in which Hedley reacted.
First he attacked me and then when I fought back he told me that my mental health was the problem and that I needed to 'seek some help', he also went to look on my profile. Finally when I refused to allow him to bully me publicly he told me that I was playing the victim and that I had been attacking him by swearing in my comments.
First he physically attacked Leneghan and then when she sought help in his statement he told the world that her mental health was to blame and he hoped she would get the help she needed and he implied he had been the victim.
There's a pattern emerging, isn't there? I spoke to someone who worked with domestic violence victims and they told me that abusers tend to use one set of behaviours repeatedly to disempower the people they wish to hurt. Hedley's attack on my mental health and his pointing to Caroline Leneghan's as the problem isn't a coincidence, it's a tactic used to make onlookers (and the victim) question the validity of their opinion.
Unfortunately I've encountered many men that attempt to silence me with bullying tactics and many of them in the Left, I've seen first hand in the SWP what not listening to women and survivors can do. It's poisonous. So I have a message to the British Left;
women will not be silenced any more and your attempt to disregard the abuse we suffer will result in your cause being weaker. No longer can you hide misogyny or rape apologism behind a veil of doing the best for the party or the cause. No longer can you appropriate the women's struggle with tokenism to strengthen your appearance whilst simultaneously pushing silence upon us.
There will be no radical left without women's liberation and no women's liberation with victim blaming and rape apologism.
Triggering issues including mental illness, domestic violence, victim blaming and body elitism are discussed in the following post.
As most trade union/left activists in the country know, there has recently been an incident regarding domestic abuse. On International Women's Day 2013 Caroline Leneghan (RMT- Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers union) made public an account of how her ex-partner Steve Hedley (Assistant General Secretary of RMT) abused her physically and mentally during their relationship. Leneghan's blog can be found here and contains pictures of her injuries that some readers might find upsetting. In her blog she detailed how when she took her complaint to RMT & she detailed several ways in which RMT tried to disregard her allegation
- The investigator attempted to make a link between her mental illness and the abuse she suffered.
- She was asked about her personal history.
- She was asked how someone of Hedley's build with a history of boxing didn't hurt her more.
A few weeks before this Leneghan published her account of the abuse she suffered at the hands of Hedley, I got into an online argument with him. Firstly during the argument he stated that I 'couldn't handle the topic' attempting to convince me and others that my point was non other than a product of me being to delicate for the discussion.
His tone with anyone who contributed to that discussion was vile, but to me in particular. He told me that 'in the real world' people argued and alleged that I was a 'middle class student' who would soon be 'sacking the workers' (presumably with my English degree from Edge Hill). When I affirmed that I was indeed working class, a council tenant, a care leaver and had extensive experience in the 'real world' he then shifted his attack to my looks.
First he attacked me and then when I fought back he told me that my mental health was the problem and that I needed to 'seek some help', he also went to look on my profile. Finally when I refused to allow him to bully me publicly he told me that I was playing the victim and that I had been attacking him by swearing in my comments.
First he physically attacked Leneghan and then when she sought help in his statement he told the world that her mental health was to blame and he hoped she would get the help she needed and he implied he had been the victim.
There's a pattern emerging, isn't there? I spoke to someone who worked with domestic violence victims and they told me that abusers tend to use one set of behaviours repeatedly to disempower the people they wish to hurt. Hedley's attack on my mental health and his pointing to Caroline Leneghan's as the problem isn't a coincidence, it's a tactic used to make onlookers (and the victim) question the validity of their opinion.
Unfortunately I've encountered many men that attempt to silence me with bullying tactics and many of them in the Left, I've seen first hand in the SWP what not listening to women and survivors can do. It's poisonous. So I have a message to the British Left;
women will not be silenced any more and your attempt to disregard the abuse we suffer will result in your cause being weaker. No longer can you hide misogyny or rape apologism behind a veil of doing the best for the party or the cause. No longer can you appropriate the women's struggle with tokenism to strengthen your appearance whilst simultaneously pushing silence upon us.
There will be no radical left without women's liberation and no women's liberation with victim blaming and rape apologism.
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Polytines: Polyamory and Valentines Day; the dilemas and the advantages of.
Communication is a huge factor in most polyamorous relationships anyway, (why wait until February 14th to tell all the special people in your life that they're special?) but Valentines Day can be a tricky one. I've collected some of the best personal problems and advantages of Polytines Day.
Let's start with the advantages:
1. You get to celebrate more than once, with different people in different ways.
2. Your partners know you in different ways and you have different things in common. One of them doesn't like prawns? (NOTE: I have a huge phobia of prawns) Don't stress it, you'll be able to go to your favourite seafood restaurant with another partner.
3. If you're in a triad or a quad and this means shared responsibility. Two heads are better than one, and this comes in handy when deciding on the other partners' present.
4. That married couple you've been dating have celebrated many Valentines Days together and now that you're in the picture they're both happy to have someone else to treat on Valentines Day. Woo hoo!
5. Your poly family gathering means that this celebration is more like Christmas! But better, Christmas with more sex.
6. The fact that you believe Valentines Day is a capitalist construct which attempts to claim human emotion and sell it back to consumers in order to validate love, doesn't matter, because your primary has a new partner that they are dying to spend the evening with.
7. You've been having a sexual relationship with one person and a romantic relationship with another you get to spend time with them both.
8. More partners= more chance one of them will be able to cook and more chance that one of them will enjoy your favourite album (The Moldy Peaches)
9. More sex. More people to send cards to!
10. Less monogamous drama!! It's easy come easy go. (Puns intended)
Now the disadvantages:
1. You'd think you'd get to celebrate more than once, but you just end up sacking someone off for the night.
2. Your new partner surprises you with a visit to their favourite seafood restaurant (they don't know about your massive phobia of prawns). Panic attacks are sexy, right?
3. You're in a triad or a quad and so today means you're now skint for the rest of February. Thanks capitalism.
4. That married couple you've been dating have been invited to a couples' dinner party, it's a tradition with friends and now you're stuck at home, listening to your housemate intermittently cry and wank.
5. Your poly family gathering turns out more like Christmas than you could imagine, in an argument.
6. Fucking brilliant, your only partner at the moment believes Valentines Day is a capitalist construct which attempts to claim human emotion and sell it back to consumers in order to validate love.
7. You've been having a sexual relationship with one person and a romantic relationship with another. They live at opposite ends of the country.
8. The sad truth is that no one but me likes The Moldy Peaches album and I will always overcook the vegetables.
9. You will get thrush from all the sex. And paying the postage on the Valentines cards you sent out will mean you can't afford thrush cream.
10. As a romantic gesture your partner's partner travelled up to see them! They brought flowers! You're so touched by this gesture you decide to let them have the night together and eat the romantic (although slightly overcooked) meal you made for the two of you. Ahhh the things we do for our many loves!
Let's start with the advantages:
1. You get to celebrate more than once, with different people in different ways.
2. Your partners know you in different ways and you have different things in common. One of them doesn't like prawns? (NOTE: I have a huge phobia of prawns) Don't stress it, you'll be able to go to your favourite seafood restaurant with another partner.
3. If you're in a triad or a quad and this means shared responsibility. Two heads are better than one, and this comes in handy when deciding on the other partners' present.
4. That married couple you've been dating have celebrated many Valentines Days together and now that you're in the picture they're both happy to have someone else to treat on Valentines Day. Woo hoo!
5. Your poly family gathering means that this celebration is more like Christmas! But better, Christmas with more sex.
6. The fact that you believe Valentines Day is a capitalist construct which attempts to claim human emotion and sell it back to consumers in order to validate love, doesn't matter, because your primary has a new partner that they are dying to spend the evening with.
7. You've been having a sexual relationship with one person and a romantic relationship with another you get to spend time with them both.
8. More partners= more chance one of them will be able to cook and more chance that one of them will enjoy your favourite album (The Moldy Peaches)
9. More sex. More people to send cards to!
10. Less monogamous drama!! It's easy come easy go. (Puns intended)
Now the disadvantages:
1. You'd think you'd get to celebrate more than once, but you just end up sacking someone off for the night.
2. Your new partner surprises you with a visit to their favourite seafood restaurant (they don't know about your massive phobia of prawns). Panic attacks are sexy, right?
3. You're in a triad or a quad and so today means you're now skint for the rest of February. Thanks capitalism.
4. That married couple you've been dating have been invited to a couples' dinner party, it's a tradition with friends and now you're stuck at home, listening to your housemate intermittently cry and wank.
5. Your poly family gathering turns out more like Christmas than you could imagine, in an argument.
6. Fucking brilliant, your only partner at the moment believes Valentines Day is a capitalist construct which attempts to claim human emotion and sell it back to consumers in order to validate love.
7. You've been having a sexual relationship with one person and a romantic relationship with another. They live at opposite ends of the country.
8. The sad truth is that no one but me likes The Moldy Peaches album and I will always overcook the vegetables.
9. You will get thrush from all the sex. And paying the postage on the Valentines cards you sent out will mean you can't afford thrush cream.
10. As a romantic gesture your partner's partner travelled up to see them! They brought flowers! You're so touched by this gesture you decide to let them have the night together and eat the romantic (although slightly overcooked) meal you made for the two of you. Ahhh the things we do for our many loves!
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
On same sex marriage
Dear Rosie Cooper,
My name is Kashka, I sit on the committee of Merseyside LGBT Students'
Network and I'm also the President of Edge Hill's LGBT+ Society. I
originally planned to contact you a few weeks ago to invite you to
partake in a debate we're holding for LGBT History Month entitled 'Is
Equal Marriage the final battle for LGBT liberation'.
After the vote in parliament on equal marriage, and you decision to
vote against it, you can understand why I am now not inviting you to
speak. I don't believe there are words to explain to you just how
poisonous and destructive your actions have been. The decision to vote
against granting equal rights to same sex couples was shared by bigots
from the conservative party and UKIP.
As an individual I am hurt, as an activist I am scared and as someone
who has lived in West Lancashire for the majority of my life and been
under the care of the local authority; I am horrified. I'm horrified
that people around the country will see your name on the list of shame
(so it's entitled in an online blog) and think that your vote reflect
the opinions of those in the area. I'm horrified that the local young
people, who are too scared to come out as gay, bisexual, lesbian or
trans* will see that their local government sees them as less than
their heterosexual peers and this will feed internalised homophobia.
You have failed to represent these young people.
You have failed to represent me.
You have failed to represent the any of the LGBT people in the
district.
You have failed.
You have hidden behind 'morals' without thinking of consequence,
without thinking of representation and because of that; you have failed
yourself.
I will eternally remember that the person 'representing' me in
parliament believes that I am not entitled to marry. I had previously
voted Labour because I saw them as a progressive party. Maybe they
still are and if you consider them to be; maybe you should consider
leaving.
The damage you have done is permanent and there's nothing
Christian about it.
Yours, a former Labour supporter,
Kashka Georgeson
Monday, 11 February 2013
Phat resources on Fat Shaming, Body Positivity and Self Acceptance.
A lot of people have messaged me to ask questions about my post on fat shaming and body image to ask questions. There are loads of resources out there. I'm going to list a few here. :)
What it's all about- wikipedia
If you have tumblr the body positive tag is always fun- http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/bodypositive
And here are some other tumblrs you might like-
Fat Art
Body Positivity
Fat Grrrl Activism
Body Posi
Redefining Body Image Post
Big Fat Feminist
It Gets Fatter (For fat queer people of colour)
If you want things on facebook-
Body Positive Image Campaign
For twitter-
Fat Positive Tag
Body Positive Tag
Fat Positive Hulk
Google image that shit.
Asortment of websites and blogs-
Body Shaming Article
http://fiercefatties.com/
Fat Liberation Manifesto
Recognising body shaming
Top 50 Self Acceptance blogs
Fat Feminism
The most highly rated fat acceptance books
Fat positive youtube videos
Ways to deal with body shaming
On raunch culture and body image
I'm happy to answer questions etc, but a lot of answers will be found in these resources! :)
Friday, 8 February 2013
Why I'm not running in my union elections
Firstly, I'd like to thank everyone who encouraged me to run in the election & everyone who has supported me in the last few months, those friends who have ferried me to hospital appointments and given their time to listen to me. Partners, who have emotionally supported me & helped remind me who I am at times when I lost sight of that. Comrades and activists up and down the country who inspire me and remind me why we do what we do. I feel privileged to have you all in my life.
I’ve made no secret about how much of a difficult time I've had with Edge Hill Students' Union over the past couple of years. From the destruction of the student council, to poisonous nepotism and the active discouragement of student participation from certain sabs, I've found engaging with my union continually disheartening. I felt consistently unrepresented, as LGBT+, as a woman, as a disabled student. I felt these groups were ignored. After an interaction with a sab who stated that they didn't feel they represented these groups in their first year in their role but didn't feel they 'had time' to represent these groups in their second year, I was horrified, I was dismissed.
I decided something had to change so became involved in my union in multiple ways: I didn't want to be an armchair activist. I took a leading role in rebuilding the non-existent LGBT+ Society, we created a community that was formerly invisible on campus. We did amazing things like being quoted in the universities' anti-discrimination policy, getting our safe space policy union-wide, having Peter Tatchell talk on campus, holding safe space support, campaign, social and educational meetings for students every week.
We took Edge Hill Students to their first NUS LGBT Conference, we joined forces with the three Liverpool Universities to form Merseyside LGBT Students' Network. We networked with LGBT activists up and down the country and through MLSN I saw what a union that cares about *everyone* looks like. I lead LGBT students on their first demo, we built relationships with LGBT staff & got a gender neutral toilets motion passed at directorate and then held a direct action when facilities management decided to ignore the motion. I hope after leaving Edge Hill that even if for a short time, the work we did has improved life for LGBT students on campus. In this time I learnt just how powerful the passion of a few people can be.
But this wasn't written to brag about what we achieved. The the primary reason I decided during my second year to run for vice president of arts and sciences was because of the way, despite the positive change I helped instigate on campus, some sabs who should have been encouraging and supporting this change, were still dismissive. And there was a lot of work left to do.
In my time attempting to be proactive on campus I tolerated sexist jokes, I tolerated the condescending looks, tones and emails. I even tolerated an incident when three male (cis/straight) men laughed at a transphobic postcard we received during a post secrets campaign for International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia, because I felt ignorance was their problem. As a result of this me and other students in the society arranged and delivered an educational session on trans* oppression. Of the two remaining staff who first laughed at the joke, the one who turned up made a joke about me attempting to turn him into a homosexual.
I spoke about my running for election openly. I was planning on slating with Kate Jackson, a brilliant woman who is one of our best allies on campus. I received a mixed reaction from union sabs from encouragement, to amusement and even active verbal discouragement from one person! I had fellow students delete me from social networking website because they were running, too. I had other candidates interrogate me about Kate Jackson’s campaign every time they saw me! But, despite the election stress I was determined that minority group students should no longer be made to feel unimportant, I built up good links with the Islam Society and the Christian Union, I attended Feminist Society meetings, and I had meetings with the universities’ head of Equality and Diversity. I decided that with enough energy and passion students on a grassroots level could instigate change themselves. I had decided my slogan, my campaign colours, and my manifesto. So what changed? Well…me.
A fair amount of people on campus know about the fact I’m disabled. I’ve made sure LGBT+ Society has had a regular disabled caucus and that it’s accessible to people with a range of disabilities. Being out about being disabled, for me, is harder than being out about my sexuality. People get used to the fact you’re not straight, but that you’re disabled? Completely different. And there have been huge barriers in participating with the union because of my disability. I planned to change them, I planned to do for disabled students what we had done for LGBT students, and to put disabled students at the center of that change.
So now, instead of talking about what’s wrong with the behaviour of some individuals in the union, I’m going to talk about what’s wrong with me. I recently found out that the medication I’m on which slightly improved my eyes, has stopped working. It’s truly heart-breaking to find out that medicine that has severe symptoms (weight gain, energy loss etc) on everyday life isn’t doing what it should. My eyes are slowly getting worse and because of the symptoms, my hypothyroidism is getting worse. And because of the nature of hypothyroidism my bouts of depression and anxiety are getting worse.
Yes, there are still significant problems with the way some members of union staff feel entitled to treat serious issues surrounding ability, gender and sexuality. But I’ve had to take the decision to step away from the union this year in order to allow myself time to read, time to attend hospital every other week and time to spend with important people in my life. Coz, guys, what is scarier to me than allowing idiots to go on behaving like idiots; is not knowing if I’m going to lose my vision. If you’ve met me, which I’m presuming you have as you’re reading this: you know I care, a lot. And until I know whether or not I will be losing my sight I’m going to direct some of that care towards myself and the important (and often neglected) people in my life. I’m tired, increasingly depressed and I don’t have the energy to keep banging my head against the brick wall of other peoples’ ignorance. I have plenty of other battles and I’m not just politically active on campus, honestly, with the behaviour I’ve seen displayed I feel those individuals need positive change more than I do.
For those of you whose health allows you to run in this campaign: good luck. There are some amazing candidates who actually care, I should know, I was meant to have the privilege of running alongside one.
Thanks for reading, if you have read all this! And thank you to all the amazing student LGBT, Women's, Disabled activists who remind me that there are people who are fighting for change. I'm going to miss not seeing (pun intended) you as often as I'm used to!
Monday, 28 January 2013
Whose fat is it anyway?
*Disclaimer: this blog applies to me and is applicable to my experience. I certainly don't speak for all women, let alone all overweight women.*
I have something I need to say, and it's not pretty. It's not sexy either. It's about fat. And not just any fat. my fat. I'm not sure how much and how emphatically I can stress this to you, dear reader; I don't consider my fat to make me an inferior person. And I never will. Rather than recount the long and complex journey I've taken with my body image over the years, or discuss the feminist issues surrounding fat, I'm just going to lay down some rules. If you struggle to shrug off the prescribed norms surrounding bodies and fat that fine. But here are some simple rules you can follow for interacting with this fat person:
1. If you get the urge to inform me I'm fat: suppress it. (This one goes out to the men in clubs, the girls from high school and all the other people who feel it's hilarious to tell me I'm fat). It might come as a surprise to you but I actually know I'm fat. Weirdly enough, I can see myself. I don't need you to inform me. Unless you have some deep seated issues relating to your self esteem & you think will benefit from putting me down: I don't understand why you'd want to take time out of your life to tell me.
2. Please don't presume you know why I'm fat. As it happens I have an illness relating to my metabolism which causes me to gain weight. But, even if this wasn't the case, I don't want your diet advice. I don't want your exercise advice. I don't want to join in with your weight loss challenge and no, dear lord, no, I don't want to hear about how your Nan/ Mum/Aunty's Dog lost weight. Strangely enough I'm not overweight because I'm not intelligent enough to google diets.
3. Please don't body shame me. Body shaming for me is really complex, but basically: I'd prefer it if all your comments about my body were kept to a minimum. A good minimum is silence. if I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. I don't need you to tell me I've put on or lost weight. I certainly don't need you to say 'Minute of the lips lifetime on the hips' whilst I'm eating. I don't need your humiliation. Thanks. If you choose to believe the hype society makes about all fat people being lazy and generally awful human beings and feel compelled so strongly to save me from yourself: why not do it privately? And then I can privately tell you to go fuck yourself. :)
4. Don't presume that *any* weight loss is good. See, society has constructed a reality where fat=bad. So when you see that I've lost a little bit of weight, you want to tell me 'Hey, well done, you're not as physically repulsive as you used to be'. The problem here though, is that my weight is a symptom of a disability. Sometimes I lose weight because I'm ill, or cant afford to feed myself properly or can't afford a lot of heating or because the illness that my weight relates to is easing up slightly. But all those variables are temporary and so inevitably I'll re-gain that weight. If you notice this, it is most certainly not your place to be disappointed. I'm not asking you to keep quiet because I'm arsey, but because it's not good for my mental health for you to congratulate me on poverty weight loss and the pressure to maintain a completely unsustainable weight loss isn't helpful either.
5. Please don't presume that I require or will welcome your approval. I once received a phone call off a family member who thought they would ring me up to remind me that fat girls can be attractive too! Listen, purrr-lease; if you have a problem with confusing weight and attractiveness, that's your business, baby. Don't make it mine. I don't hold the same values as you or see the world through the same lens, I don't need you to find me attractive *despite* my clearly disgusting and horrific disability. Really. Also in relation to this: don't presume that people you deem unattractive don't ever have sex or that people don't ever find them attractive. You're sorely mistaken.
What I think happened is that somewhere down the line fat got communal. And now people who have no qualification other than being slimmer than me, and not suffering from the same condition I do, now feel like it is there place to save me from my gluttonous ways. For a long time I allowed myself to be taken in by this culture that thrives on insecurity on punishment and not help, on laughing and not caring. But my fat doesn't belong to this culture, it doesn't belong to well meaning friends, it doesn't belong to drunk men in pubs or anyone else:
it belongs to me. And you should probably respect that.
I have something I need to say, and it's not pretty. It's not sexy either. It's about fat. And not just any fat. my fat. I'm not sure how much and how emphatically I can stress this to you, dear reader; I don't consider my fat to make me an inferior person. And I never will. Rather than recount the long and complex journey I've taken with my body image over the years, or discuss the feminist issues surrounding fat, I'm just going to lay down some rules. If you struggle to shrug off the prescribed norms surrounding bodies and fat that fine. But here are some simple rules you can follow for interacting with this fat person:
1. If you get the urge to inform me I'm fat: suppress it. (This one goes out to the men in clubs, the girls from high school and all the other people who feel it's hilarious to tell me I'm fat). It might come as a surprise to you but I actually know I'm fat. Weirdly enough, I can see myself. I don't need you to inform me. Unless you have some deep seated issues relating to your self esteem & you think will benefit from putting me down: I don't understand why you'd want to take time out of your life to tell me.
2. Please don't presume you know why I'm fat. As it happens I have an illness relating to my metabolism which causes me to gain weight. But, even if this wasn't the case, I don't want your diet advice. I don't want your exercise advice. I don't want to join in with your weight loss challenge and no, dear lord, no, I don't want to hear about how your Nan/ Mum/Aunty's Dog lost weight. Strangely enough I'm not overweight because I'm not intelligent enough to google diets.
3. Please don't body shame me. Body shaming for me is really complex, but basically: I'd prefer it if all your comments about my body were kept to a minimum. A good minimum is silence. if I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. I don't need you to tell me I've put on or lost weight. I certainly don't need you to say 'Minute of the lips lifetime on the hips' whilst I'm eating. I don't need your humiliation. Thanks. If you choose to believe the hype society makes about all fat people being lazy and generally awful human beings and feel compelled so strongly to save me from yourself: why not do it privately? And then I can privately tell you to go fuck yourself. :)
4. Don't presume that *any* weight loss is good. See, society has constructed a reality where fat=bad. So when you see that I've lost a little bit of weight, you want to tell me 'Hey, well done, you're not as physically repulsive as you used to be'. The problem here though, is that my weight is a symptom of a disability. Sometimes I lose weight because I'm ill, or cant afford to feed myself properly or can't afford a lot of heating or because the illness that my weight relates to is easing up slightly. But all those variables are temporary and so inevitably I'll re-gain that weight. If you notice this, it is most certainly not your place to be disappointed. I'm not asking you to keep quiet because I'm arsey, but because it's not good for my mental health for you to congratulate me on poverty weight loss and the pressure to maintain a completely unsustainable weight loss isn't helpful either.
5. Please don't presume that I require or will welcome your approval. I once received a phone call off a family member who thought they would ring me up to remind me that fat girls can be attractive too! Listen, purrr-lease; if you have a problem with confusing weight and attractiveness, that's your business, baby. Don't make it mine. I don't hold the same values as you or see the world through the same lens, I don't need you to find me attractive *despite* my clearly disgusting and horrific disability. Really. Also in relation to this: don't presume that people you deem unattractive don't ever have sex or that people don't ever find them attractive. You're sorely mistaken.
What I think happened is that somewhere down the line fat got communal. And now people who have no qualification other than being slimmer than me, and not suffering from the same condition I do, now feel like it is there place to save me from my gluttonous ways. For a long time I allowed myself to be taken in by this culture that thrives on insecurity on punishment and not help, on laughing and not caring. But my fat doesn't belong to this culture, it doesn't belong to well meaning friends, it doesn't belong to drunk men in pubs or anyone else:
it belongs to me. And you should probably respect that.
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