How to be an ally to working class people

5 problems with sex positivity

Although I am a sex positive activist, I don't believe subscribing to any tradition, political perspective or community, uncritically, is a good idea. The problems outlined below are things I've encountered in spaces that aren't explicitly feminist. But they are important, and they do matter.

1. Men dominating conversations on women's sexuality and bodies
I've found that in a spaces that aren't feminist the oppressive power dynamics found in any other place are reitterated and validated in discussions. The discussion is usually male centered, binarist, cissexist, heteronormative, etc. Some men use sex positivity and the discourse of 'preference' as a cloak to excuse their patriarchal generalisations. E.g. 'body hair (on women) is revolting'. Sex positivity should be about challenging patriarchal notions and normative, oppressive ideas about sexuality, and it saddens me that some men are accessing sex positive spaces to do the opposite.

Benjamin Rush, Carl Von Linné, Julien Offray de la Mettrie, Sylvester Graham, Richard Von Kraft-Ebing, John H Kellog, Sigmund Freud, Alfred Kinsey, Claudius Galerius, Samuel Tissoflt- the discourse on human sexuality has been dictated by white men, some making progressive arguments, some scientific and some oppressive, but all men. Most people in the world are not white men. And our sex positive spaces should endevour to not silence those who aren't, otherwise it's just the same old shit, under a different name.

2. Shallow analysis of the roots of sex negativity
Sex is political, just like anything else. Sexual behaviour has been policed, villianised, or encouraged thoughout history depending on the political climate. There's definitely positives in addressing the symptom (the experience of sexual shame and repression) but the discussuon of the cause is important for true progression. Sex positivity in relation to capitalism, sex positivity in relation to disability, to patriarchy, to the nuclear family? These  dialogues are missing. Sex positivity cannot simply be a tool for self validation alone, but for ensuring we can break the the cycle of sexual repression.

3. Pressumptions
I believe a sex positive space should be one in which people aren't subjected to others making tired presumptions about gender, sexuality, or experience of sexual desire. When writing about sex positivity leads to relative strangers (all men) contacting me pressuming that I want to have sex with them, this reinforces the idea that a woman discussing the politics of sex is a 'cert'. No, I don't want a photograph of your sex organs. Thank you. No, talking about sex doesn't automatically mean I experience a high sex drive, or that I want to answer questions about my sexual behaviour. Thank you. No, talking about sex doesn't mean that I'm heterosexual. This dialogue is not another tool to service male pleasure, it's a tool to challenge the assumptions, not reinforce them.

4. Slighlty missing the point
Sex positivity is not about uncritically claiming that all sex is great.
a)Sex is not always positive
b)and it's not essential for everyone.
Many people have a strained relationship with sex, and their own body, they may have sexual triggers or have survived sexual abuse or rape. The sex positive movement cannot make progression if we simply plaster over the fact that sex can be a negative experience and a tool of oppression. We are failing at communicating the true purpose of sex positivity if we exclude people with sexual triggers. It's not about saying 'woohoo, sex is always fabulous' it's about recognising that human sexuality is diverse, complicated and often an emotive topic. It's about saying that there is no 'wrong' way for a person to express their sexuality, or asexuality. We shouldn't be silencing survivors of sexual abuse, we should be shaming institutions that normalise it, we should be discussing consent.

People may choose not to engage in erotic behaviour and still lead rich, fulfilling lives. Sex positivity should not be about interveining to educate people who choose not to have sex, to tell them what they're missing. Sex positivity should not be about forcing people to discuss their own sexual behaviour if they don't want to, or pressuming that those who don't are victims of sexual shame.

5. Body negativity
I cannot count the number of times I've seen or partaken in discussions that transcend into body negativity. Why? Because although it's essential that sex positivity and body positivity are linked, someone forgot to put that on the group email, or the general memo. Fatshaming, thinshaming, disability shaming, normative beauty standards, body policing= not sex positive. Body positivity absolutely has to be a part of this movement because if not, then we're saying 'you only deserve sex positivity if you fit these narrow critera'. Expressions of sexuality are not hierarchical, hopefully most people realise that penetrative sex is not the Golden Chalice of erotic acts? Body types and appearences should also be discussed in a non-judgemental, non-heirarchical manner, too. Otherwise we are  shaming the tool used for the expression of human sexuality, and therefore we are encouraging sexual shame.

Conclusion? My sex positivity will be feminist, intersectional, self-critical, LGBTQ inclusive, disability positive, and radical, or it will be bullshit.

Got a question about this post or about gender, sexuality or relationships? Ask it anonymously at- http://ask.fm/SPAnswersquestions and have it reviewed and answered by a team of fabulous people.

To Russia with Love

(If you wish to add your name to this letter please email pipgeorgeson@gmail.com. Please put the subject of your email as 'Russia Letter' and include your name as you would like it to appear in the body of your email.)

We, the undersigned, wish to extend our steadfast solidarity to those suffering under and fighting against the oppressive 'homosexual propaganda' law in Russia. As a community we believe the radical history of our movement shows that change is possible and we remain dedicated to working towards this change.

Many media outlets have reported that the LGBT community is simply concerned about this law as a threat to our athletes. Whilst we do worry for all those travelling to Russia, this is not the whole story. We feel this coverage provides only a superficial insight into our concerns and neglects to recognise our other alignment. Our alignment is to those trodden on by these laws everyday, those who live with the marginalisation and fear bred and normalised by this legislation. It is you, our LGBT siblings in Russia to whom we send our love and support.

To Putin, to each of the four hundred and thirty six individuals who voted through this law we say; your deeds will not be forgotten. The world is watching as you legitimise the oppression of millions of your citizens. For individuals such as yourself who occupy a privileged position in society, you cannot understand the strength found in shared struggle. The link between LGBT people will not be stopped by legislative boundaries, borders or language barriers. You cannot hope to contain it. This link will exist until true liberation of all oppressed groups is achieved.

When you make freedom to talk about identity illegal, when you arrest our siblings for their trans* status and sexuality; we see the nature of the society you wish to build. A society in which the suffering of LGBT people is deepened and celebrated. A society that does not allow people to fight for liberation. You wish to maintain a world where neo-Nazis can beat a woman for being transgender without arrest but Pride marches are attacked by police. A society where young people are 'protected' from healthy and inclusive discussions about sexuality and gender, and so are taught to supress and despise their own. It is a society where 'traditional family values' is code for regressive attacks on groups of your choosing. We find your actions vile and unjust. And we refuse to stay silent. When you attack any of the LGBT community, you attack us all. When you deny people the right to fight for their own liberation you only strengthen the empathy shown to them by people who share their struggle, around the world.

To our LGBT siblings in Russia; know that when you march against injustice the spirit of our movement is carried with you. When you are erased by bigotry know that we see you. Within each continent, every country, city, town, there are LGBT people who struggle to fight against the particular discrimination of their government. We believe that we have more in common through this struggle than with those who run our countries.

Let us offer you our strength where yours may falter. Let us offer you our hands to help when yours are tied by institutional  homophobia and transphobia. Should you wish us to boycott the winter Olympics we will. If you want us to march in the streets we will. Should you wish us to publicise the atrocities visited upon you by the Russian government, to speak the names of those killed and detained, to keep their struggle alive; we shall.

Our message to you is simple- we see your struggle, we stand with you and we await your reply.

In solidarity,

В РОССИЮ С ЛЮБОВЬЮ Мы, нижеподписавшиеся, хотели бы выразить нашу непоколебимую солидарность с теми людьми, кто страдает от деспотического закона о запрете так называемой “пропаганды гомосексуализма” в России и борется с ним. Являясь единым сообществом, мы верим в то, что история нашего движения, наполненная событиями, радикально изменившими ход общей истории, показывает нам, что перемены возможны, и мы продолжим целенаправленно двигаться к этой цели. Многие средства массовой информации утверждали, что сообщество ЛГБТ волнуется по поводу этого закона лишь потому, что он представляет собой угрозу нашим атлетам. И хотя мы на самом деле беспокоимся за всех тех людей, которые приезжают в Россию в качестве туристов, это не полностью отражает ситуацию. Мы полагаем, что освещение событий именно в таком ключе является лишь поверхностным пониманием наших забот и игнорирует наши идеи объединения с такими же людьми, как мы, только притесняемые подобными законами ежедневно, живущими в условиях маргинализации и страха, порождаемого подобными законами, страха, который таким образом превращается в обыденность. Это вам, наши ЛГБТ- братья и сестры в России, передаем мы наш привет и выражаем поддержку. Путину и каждому из всех четырех сотен тридцати шести человек, которые проголосовали за этот закон, мы говорим: ваши поступки забыты не будут. Мир следит за тем, как вы легитимизируете угнетение миллионов ваших граждан. Являясь людьми, занимающими превилегированное положение в обществе, вы не сможете понять ту силу, которая возникает и объединяет нас в общей борьбе. Связи между ЛГБТ не будут прерваны законодательными барьерами, границами или языковыми препятствиями. Вы не сможете нас сдержать, как ни надейтесь. Эта связь не прервется до того момента, пока не станут по-настоящему свободными все угнетаемые люди. Когда вы даете себе свободу говорить о том, что какое-то самовосприятие является незаконным, когда арестовываете наших братьев и сестер за их транс-сознание и сексуальность, мы видим, какое на самом деле общество вы хотите построить. Общество, в котором страдания ЛГБТ становится еще более сильным и резонансным. Общество, которое не дает людям возможность бороться за свободу. Вы хотите жить в мире, в котором неонацисты могут избить женщину за то, что она трансгендер, и оставить их безнаказанными, а шествия ЛГБТ подавляются полицией. Общество, в котором дети “защищены” от трезвого и всестороннего разговора о вопросах сексуальности и пола, в котором их учат подавлять и прятать собственную сексуальность. Общество, в котором “традиционные семейные ценности” являются правилом, позволяющим совершать агрессивные нападки на группы людей по вашему собственному усмотрению. Мы считаем ваши действия подлыми и несправедливыми. Мы не будем молчать. Когда вы нападаете на какую-то группу ЛГБТ, вы выступаете против нас всех. Когда вы отказываете человеку в праве на борьбу за свою свободу, вы лишь увеличиваете чувство сопереживания со стороны людей, которые участвуют в такой же борьбе по всему миру. Нашим ЛГБТ-братьям и сестрам в России: помните, что когда вы выходите на улицу в борьбе против несправедливости, наше движение тоже не забывает о вас. Когда вас исключают из общества проявлениями нетерпимости, мы видим вас. На каждом континенте, в каждой стране, городе, селении есть ЛГБТ, которые борются против дискриминации со стороны властей. Мы верим, что у нас гораздо больше общего благодаря этой борьбе, чем у тех, кто руководит нашими странами. Хотим выразить нашу поддержку всем, кому её не хватает. Хотим подать руку всем, чьи собственные руки связаны узаконенной гомофобией и трансофобией. Если вы хотите, чтобы мы бойкотировали зимние Олимпийские игры, мы сделаем это. Если вы хотите, чтобы мы вышли на улицу, мы сделаем это. Если вы хотите, чтобы мы предали известности те зверства, которые совершает в отношении вас российская власть, предать гласности имена всех, кто был убит и брошен в тюрьму, чтобы поддержать их в этой борьбе, мы сделаем это. Мы хотим донести до вас простую мысль: мы видим вашу борьбу, мы рядом с вами и ждем вашего ответа. Выражая нашу солидарность,

Kashka

Jacques Gonseaux

Tom Mycock, Unite rep, Leicester

Matt T

Tom McCarthy

Mx Geo Leonard

Morgan Millicheap

Jenny Hacket

Sky Yarlett

Yolly Chegwidden, NUS LGBT Committee

Clare B

Dave Sherbert

Rhodri Roberts

Francesca Pirovano

Amy Addison Dunne

Dan Stone

Becca Dye

Jack

Dan Conama

Logan Lawson

Morgan Hale

Caroline Leneghan

Alex Louise Wheller

K. Pearse, Liberation Officer at Warwickshire College (Lemington) SU

Kier. A. Sinclair

Senora Nicola Skotudoodah

Lynn- D Fletcher

Lea Howard

Sarah Noble

Emily Rae Fowler

Andi Herring

Matthew S

Naomi B

Rachel Smith

Charley Hasted

K. Marsden

Josh Davies

Rhiannon Lowton

Anna Cat

Martyn Price

Rosie Huzzard NUS NEC, NCAFC NC and PCS DWP Sheffield Young Members Officer

Aaron Booth

Kaylan Hughes

Nick Fischer

Jo Smith

L. Webb

Dan Fahey (Committee for Workers' International)

Rob Young

Sarah Lynn

Lani Baird

Alison Stevenson

Liat Norris

Fran Cowling, NUS LGBT Committee

Shian Streadwick-Augustine-Cain

Elliott Marshall, LIV.FAST Network

Claire Hornby

Michael Stickland

Chua Zhong Xian

Rachel Ivens

Felicity Dowling

Codie Louise Austin

Stephen J. Wright

Matthew Smith

Osman Bhatti

Sarah K

Tina Rawr, Equal Rights

Alex Prestage

Nyssa Blakeley

Gareth Kirman

Kris Bailey

Emma-Jane Samworth

Amelia Bradley-Newby

Sean.C

Emma Pooka

Trish Clinton NUS LGBT Committee Bi* Rep

Aura Willow Hazel

Daria Hopwood

LGBT News in the last 7 days

So I'm trying out a few different ideas on here this week. One of them is a round-up of news on certain topics from the last seven days. Let me know what you think; do you like this format? Would you prefer more insight into the stories? Have I missed any news you think should be here? You can either contact me on facebook, comment on this blog or email me pipgeorgeson@gmail.com.

1. Section 28 Returns in Academies
It emerges this week that several academies have retained or adopted policy to 'ban the prommotion of homosexuality in classrooms' in the style of Section 28. The '80s called- they want their regressive legislation back.

2. Athletes Kiss in Protest to Russia's Anti-LGBT Law
Yeah, fuck you, Putin.

3. People in Northern Ireland join activists around the world in protesting Russia's law

4. and the Miss World host quits over it, too.

5. Radio host thinks 'The Gays' and their insistence on human rights is oppressive.
I fully believe that with a bottle of this woman's tears, the rainbow flag and the right incantation; I could summon an army of Aggressive Homosexuals.

6. The Mysterious Case of Nikoli Alekseev
The facebook account of a prominent LGBT activist in Russia was vanished after some uncharacteristic statuses and some strange and worring pictures were posted on it.

7. (Massive trigger warning for transphobia and violence) A Russian transwoman is stripped and beaten in public.
Horrific story, horrific incident, beware that images are included in this article.

8. Queerfest in Canada
Looks pretty awesome. The article has a comment section at the bottom with one phobic contribution. Sigh.

9.Puerto Rico takes steps forward in LGBT inclusion
You Go Glen CoCo.

10. Gay Porn company to give all profits to help the LGBT community
Yay!

My experience of Steve Hedley and a message to the British Left.

*Disclaimer/TW*
Triggering issues including mental illness, domestic violence, victim blaming and body elitism are discussed in the following post.

As most trade union/left activists in the country know, there has recently been an incident regarding domestic abuse. On International Women's Day 2013 Caroline Leneghan (RMT- Rail, Maritime and Transport Workers union) made public an account of how her ex-partner Steve Hedley (Assistant General Secretary of RMT) abused her physically and mentally during their relationship. Leneghan's blog can be found here and contains pictures of her injuries that some readers might find upsetting. In her blog she detailed how when she took her complaint to RMT & she detailed several ways in which RMT tried to disregard her allegation

1. The investigator attempted to make a link between her mental illness and the abuse she suffered.
2. She was asked about her personal history.
3. She was asked how someone of Hedley's build with a history of boxing didn't hurt her more.

RMT then cleared Hedley and on the back of the investigator's attempt to blame Leneghan's mental illness he wrote a statement which you can read here.

A few weeks before this Leneghan published her account of the abuse she suffered at the hands of Hedley, I got into an online argument with him. Firstly during the argument he stated that I 'couldn't handle the topic' attempting to convince me and others that my point was non other than a product of me being to delicate for the discussion.


His tone with anyone who contributed to that discussion was vile, but to me in particular. He told me that 'in the real world' people argued and alleged that I was a 'middle class student' who would soon be 'sacking the workers' (presumably with my English degree from Edge Hill). When I affirmed that I was indeed working class, a council tenant, a care leaver and had extensive experience in the 'real world' he then shifted his attack to my looks. 

Hedley's attempt to silence me by telling me I was middle class, then telling me I was ugly then telling me I needed to 'find myself a partner of some kind'  made me feel like my part in the debate was completely dictated by my gender and by my age. A well paid middle aged man in the high ranks of the RMT being misogynistic, ableist, and attempting to intimidate a young woman isn't as serious his violence to Leneghan, and I wouldn't want anyone to think that for a second. What is similar, however was the way in which Hedley reacted. 

First he attacked me and then when I fought back he told me that my mental health was the problem and that I needed to 'seek some help', he also went to look on my profile. Finally when I refused to allow him to bully me publicly he told me that I was playing the victim and that I had been attacking him by swearing in my comments.
 First he physically attacked Leneghan and then when she sought help in his statement he told the world that her mental health was to blame and he hoped she would get the help she needed and he implied he had been the victim. 

There's a pattern emerging, isn't there? I spoke to someone who worked with domestic violence victims and they told me that abusers tend to use one set of behaviours repeatedly to disempower the people they wish to hurt. Hedley's attack on my mental health and his pointing to Caroline Leneghan's as the problem isn't a coincidence, it's a tactic used to make onlookers (and the victim) question the validity of their opinion. 

Unfortunately I've encountered many men that attempt to silence me with bullying tactics and many of them in the Left, I've seen first hand in the SWP what not listening to women and survivors can do. It's poisonous. So I have a message to the British Left;

 women will not be silenced any more and your attempt to disregard the abuse we suffer will result in your cause being weaker. No longer can you hide misogyny or rape apologism behind a veil of doing the best for the party or the cause. No longer can you appropriate the women's struggle with tokenism to strengthen your appearance whilst simultaneously pushing silence upon us. 
There will be no radical left without women's liberation and no women's liberation with victim blaming and rape apologism. 

On same sex marriage

Dear Rosie Cooper, 

My name is Kashka, I sit on the committee of Merseyside LGBT Students'
Network and I'm also the President of Edge Hill's LGBT+ Society. I
originally planned to contact you a few weeks ago to invite you to
partake in a debate we're holding for LGBT History Month entitled 'Is
Equal Marriage the final battle for LGBT liberation'.

 
After the vote in parliament on equal marriage, and you decision to
vote against it, you can understand why I am now not inviting you to
speak. I don't believe there are words to explain to you just how
poisonous and destructive your actions have been. The decision to vote
against granting equal rights to same sex couples was shared by bigots
from the conservative party and UKIP. 
As an individual I am hurt, as an activist I am scared and as someone
who has lived in West Lancashire for the majority of my life and been
under the care of the local authority; I am horrified. I'm horrified
that people around the country will see your name on the list of shame
(so it's entitled in an online blog) and think that your vote reflect
the opinions of those in the area. I'm horrified that the local young
people, who are too scared to come out as gay, bisexual, lesbian or
trans* will see that their local government sees them as less than
their heterosexual peers and this will feed internalised homophobia.  

You have failed to represent these young people.
You have failed to represent me.
You have failed to represent the any of the LGBT people in the
district. 
You have failed. 
You have hidden behind 'morals' without thinking of consequence,
without thinking of representation and because of that; you have failed
yourself.
I will eternally remember that the person 'representing' me in
parliament believes that I am not entitled to marry. I had previously
voted Labour because I saw them as a progressive party. Maybe they
still are and if you consider them to be; maybe you should consider
leaving. 

The damage you have done is permanent and there's nothing
Christian about it.  

 Yours, a former Labour supporter,

 Kashka Georgeson